It’s been over three months since my last post.
To give you an update on my life since my most recent essays (about my cat dying and the time I yelled at my Senator’s lackey about Brett Kavanaugh), you should know that a major development has occurred – I finally got a job!
It is part time. It is retail. It’s about as pleasant and respectful as an hourly wage work environment under capitalism can be, which means I feel extremely lucky to have this gig. I’ve certainly had worse.
I earn enough to keep us afloat, while still having time to raise a child, organize with my Democratic Socialist comrades, and work on my other writing project.
I wish I could tell you more about this gig, because it’s a consistently entertaining part of my everyday life. But I’m very serious about adhering to their social media policy, which I’ve expanded to cover my blog writing. Essentially, it’s “don’t ask, don’t tell.” I can identify myself as one of their employees as long as I maintain a thoroughly unoffensive online demeanor. Or I can continue cussing like a sailor and talking shit about capitalism (like I do, especially on Twitter, CONSTANTLY), and keep their good name outta my filthy mouth. I opt for the latter. They won’t go looking for me on the internet. But if I draw attention to my employment with them, I’m inviting scrutiny.
So I say very little about this job when I’m online. And the corollary is that when I’m at work, I say very little about my personal life. That’s fine by me. Being introverted, I’m not keen on talking about myself in person anyway. The need to mask my political agenda is a convenient excuse for remaining mysterious.
Sometimes feeling like a spy is fun, but only on a part-time basis. During the holidays, work became full time and I felt like I was undercover for half my waking hours. It wasn’t bad exactly. But I had no time to nurture this site, which left me feeling a bit dead inside. I’m really fond of this format I’ve created here. It very much suits the sort of storytelling I want to do, and I’m proud of the Introverted Comrade pieces I’ve written thus far.
I truly enjoy all my major obligations – parenting, organizing, work, and writing. But it’s too easy to let that last one fall off the agenda. No one expects this of me. I don’t lose income when I don’t write, because I don’t make any money from it. My child doesn’t suffer, nor do I let the comrades down if I fail to post a personal essay.
But if we lived in the sort of socialist utopia I fight for — with guaranteed income, childcare assistance, and single payer healthcare — I would spend a significant chunk of my day at a desk, with a cup of coffee, occasionally staring out the window, writing true stories about my life. This project would be the daily objective, not the thing I do if I can spare a few hours here and there.
So now that the holiday season is behind me and I’m in the mood for resolutions, I’m committing to posting here twice a month. The only way I can make that happen is by occasionally giving this task priority over all the other things. Sometimes the kid and the comrades will have to wait. Still gotta sell my labor, but I’m not complaining about diminished hours here in the slow season.
So I get to be more myself again here at Introverted Comrade. Yet I also remain a spy. If you’re a friend or comrade who lives in town, come visit me at work sometime. I have so many amusing stories to tell that I can’t share here. Otherwise, catch me on this site, twice a month. I’ll draw upon my other muses, and promise to not be boring.